Sunshine or Shadow

You know, life isn’t just about things.
Sometimes, I really miss my childhood—
those days when I was happy,
not knowing the problems my family faced,
or the chaos that existed beyond our walls.

But now, when I look at where I am,
I just think, Wow... I’m really messed up.
People were right—
when you grow up, you're never truly yourself anymore.
You become responsible,
your personality shifts,
and you craft a version of yourself to survive in front of others.

I lost my place.
I lost my childhood
the moment I realized how many problems
a single woman faces—especially because of men.
You know what I mean, right?

At night, I create a new world in my dreams
just to cover the sadness in my heart.
But every morning,
I return to the same old reality.

People say,
“The sun shines for everyone.”
But I’ve never seen one meant for me.
I’ve waited—
I’m still waiting.
But why am I always surrounded by shadows?
Does the sun not want me?
Or was I never meant to have one?

My mom used to say,
“Patience is the key to success.
Time is limited for everyone.
So be patient, but don’t wait too long.”

Still, my chance—my sunshine—never arrives.
But I hope one day it will.
That day, I’ll proudly look at my mother and say,
"Mom, my sunshine came looking for me."

I’ve made so many plans for my life,
but today, I just want to let this version of me die,
and be reborn.
So, dear sun—
please rise… and shine for me.